.....

Ok initially i was gonna title this "Things i wish i said" but then that would mean this would be another soggy post...and i know i promised i wouldnt write anything soggy anymore but somehow i cant help it because thats usually what drives me to write something...was gonna write like i was shouting at someone...a guy...the guy i thought would have been awesome but it seems i thought wrong...i was just going to speak my mind...or my mind as of a few hours ago...it still is my state of mind but im calmer now as in im breathing...and im not trying not to cry...im just kinda sad. Not altogether sad cuz there are things that are/have been distracting me from sinking into "ultimate phunk mode"
Was sooo upset with "this guy" this weekend...my dad had to sit me down and talk to me...what can i say i actually like the guy and now im worried that i do! He disappoints maybe 7 out of 10 times and my dad is like if a guy really gives a shit he wud try to make u happy 7 out of 10 times (well those are my words...lol...)
O he said something like..."Tola guys are assholes you know...you know that rite?" And i said yes....lmao! I tried not to catch myself after that cuz i dont think he realised i was indirectly referring to him as an asshole as well...lol...
But yea enough of that...i would get over it soon...i have decided to free...and im making head way. To think there was a time he would actually say "I'm so sorry for....please dont go off me" Smh...How do i get into all these tom foolery type things all the time...maybe i need a shrink...
Of which i still cant get over the fact that sometime last year while i was in uni...i had to see the school shrink! Like lying in that sofa...was too weird...i was talking or at least trying to...but in my mind i was like "Ha Tola...this is you o! Ur friends call you crazy but this is the last bus stop! Ur seeing a shrink as in doing the whole sofa P! Haba! And u were referred! Lmao" Twas too funny. Im not deranged or anything but at that time..TRUST ME...twas ruff bwoi! If i wasnt referred i would probably have dealt with it....
Now playing...Ms Stress-Floetry "Its better that it hurts, its better that it feels this way to me, i cant be too comfortable cuz loving you is not my destiny..." The rest of the song pretty much applies to me....word for word...for almost very rltshp i have had (not all o! Im not completely blind...but sometimes you dont see these things from the on-set) I did say enough of this right! Yea...thing is i dont think i have anything else to say...and it frustrates the shit outta me....but as usual...i shall put a smile on my face...or not... but i will say...im fine....