*UnPublished RanDom Post*

#nowplaying Say Aaaah- Trey Songz ft. Fabulous... My new feel good jam! It just puts me in that frame of mind you know. One of genuine happiness...me with the important people in my life...listening to it with the bass where it should be...dancing and smiling! Being merry and doing a particular step for a certain part...hahaha *good times*
Music and dancing....singing...peaceful...includes a lot of sound but for me i find peace in this glorious noise. I just set it to repeat because i need this feeling...its faint now because my mum has found yet another reason to call me a disgrace...i didnt put the umbrella back in her car. Then she goes off on this tangent that makes no sense...im sorry i didnt put it back in your car but honestly i am a let down because of that? This song may not help as much as i need to...*put it on repeat*
This week was supposed to be good...woke up with the positive attitude on monday and everything...made plans to do better at everthing and then the little things that just mess with me started happening (my stalker just called...i shall write about him later)
Am i really honestly this dumb tho like seriously i have been told to go and pray because thats the only thing that can save me at ths point....that i need to check my conscience...and that the only thing i have going for me is that i am a nice person and i cant live on that because its not enough...all this and more (contact the parental unit for more details)I shall have a written self evaluation soonish and be as honest as possible! *Stifling back tears* FFS!!!
#Random How do you take your heart off your sleeve and your feelings off your chest? You dont know? Shit...When you do let a sister know thank you much!
My heart readily pumps at every single thing..and as rational as my brain is supposed to help me be...it kinda creates a cataclysmic reaction in my heart that makes me feel more! I am my hardest critic cuz Lord knows i should not take some of the shit said to me seriously cause it would ruin me....infact i am now makin a conscious decision not to anymore! Im not that bad...criticsm is accepted but wrong assumptions about my persona will be corrected from here on out!
Tried that on my dad sunday nite...he assumed i didnt give a shit about anyone at home (this is he said after going on a rant about how im frustrated and its not their fault blah blah...well he didnt lie about the frustrated part)I am tired jo...and though i may not look it i am a fighter so i shall not give up!!! Need i say that my feel good song has stopped working and is just playing as my background music in my head nw....


*I wrote this blog yesterday and because of the crap internet i kinda lost what i wrote from my last paragraph till the end and it was a pretty long blog so i am currently trying to remeber everything i wrote yesterday...hope i dont miss anything...not like you would...you dont even know what i wrote*

Yea so i know i told you about my stalker...you would not believe this fellow sat at home ringing random numbers and on his 3rd trial i was the unfortunate oine that picked up! Ok y did i pick up a number i dont know? Well lets start with the fact that i am a recruiter so anyone could be calling me (even though i know i have hardly given out my privte number to any clients...or maybe i am hoping its the love/crush of my life calling me to profess love but has no credit to do that so he is using someone else's fone....NO i am NOT pathetic!!! Thanks for understanding)
So yea i picked up thinking i knew the guy foiund out i didnt and he didnt even know me either so oi begged him to stop calling...well now he calls me three times everyday morning noon and night and sends me txt messages in between! Now why cant the person i have a crush on do that (yes my conscience is nagging that someone else was willing to do that but i didnt want him....thats not my fault...i didnt like him like that! Sorry not yelling at u...yelling at my overly conscious conscience) But serrsli...he doesnt talk much...apart from the fact that i talk enough for the both of us...sigh...i dunno. He is just tooo gorgeous and i looove his voice. Lets face it i adore him...iz probably bad so i guess i should find another crush or more so im dont trip hopelessly for this one yes? LoL
Now playing I like what i see- Mo'Hits I luv the instrumentals...have to give DonJazzy big ups on his beats men...this one makes me feel kinda sexy wiv myself...pouting and tryin 2 raise one eyebrow and imaginin he is standin in front of me...not DonJazzy my crush...and doing what i think i do best...dancing...sigh...MUSIC O! I want to make my own! As in people that make music shud b super proud of themselves men! To me its a beautiful thing to know how to do! One of the most beautiful....top 3...or 2... Another song that has this effect on me is If u want me- MoCheddah Im just grindin my seat in this office...*thots*
This weekend was coolies...had CD on friday...Alize and a movie wiv one of the best girlfriends i cud ask for! Yea i was supposed to b goin wiv my crush. I gathered all the balls to ask him and he said yes then couldnt make it (pls dont feel sorry for me and say he probably didnt wanna come cuz i am struggling enuf wiv that thot already, plus the weeknd bfor he asked me nd i cudnt make it and it wasnt cuz i ddnt want to so i am givin him the BOD :p) So yea went home tipsy and crashed
Staurday did my usual duties and headed off to another of my girlfriends house to hang for the rest of the wknd...was her bday on sunday so we wnt to bacchus on saturday nite...FUNKY HOUSE WOOP! First nite out this year as well...twas good...was high on life then high on vodka nd juice! Danced away as usual..got a compliment (yes it was one and so!)It was suspect in the beginnin sha "Babe how did u lose all that weight?" Ha i took a step back in mock horror in my mind and then he's like u look sooo good now...soo slim *yea baby...get in!!* Ofcourse i was glowin after that! Music was BAM!!!
Sunday my girls 22nd...was stress tryna organise her lil shindig at her house but we did it and it turned out to be rili fun...wiv enuf food as well (trust we were runnin to mallams to charter suya at the last minute...the caterers sent us a measly amount of food and my darling friend did not disappoint me...SHE FREAKED OUT!)

*Interesting fact- My bestie says guys can see desperation in ur eyes when ur single...or can smell when a babe is feelin lonely. Now for a sex we consider to be really daft how the hell are they sensing all these things especially as forming is almost every girls watchword...except a few like me...o snap...i seeee...but i dont go around lookin like im single do i...what does that even look like?

*Interesting fact 2- My cousin likes this girl a whole lot and i basically told him to go for it and he is like "She is too awesome like...i really like her...i cant get with her..." Is that why im single fella's...im too awesome for you to get with? Well that makes me feel a lil better about my status nd any other single lady reading this...i think...hmmmm

Basically weekend was fun...till i got home...reality... Such a shame that when people say get real they actually mean o its the worst not the best that can happen...Y tho? Why is reality the negative ish... Humans we need to reshape the world wiv ourminds cuz what we are seeing is what we are thinking...Think about it take a second...TING!

Now i believe i have satisfied myself and my one reader (or 2/3) my hands are paining me...even though this took me a while since im at work.... Thinking of a way to sign out after every post...lets try this piece of cheese...

~*Love~*Peace~*AfroGrease*~ (How does that look?)