I wonder....

Currently listening to Melanie Fiona's Priceless ... i would have found the lyrics really sweet normally, but atm... i think its desperate...im becoming a cynic (i prayed this time woud never come)

I wonder what it feels like, to meet someone that thinks im too special to be defiled...doesnt want to touch me but just hear me speak and gets inspired by what i have to say. Not want to jump my bones or throw me in bed...just genuinely enjoy my company but love me deeply and desire me but restrain himself just cause he believes im too precious to be man handled.... concernign this #thatisall

Yea...i may never know what that feels like and im not sure i wish it upon myself cause one day i would want to be touched *cough* and he would be "restraining himself" and i would now be frustrated...LoL. Now dont ask me why i think like this...because i wish i knew the answer :D

Been feeling apathetic of recent...my blood needs to un hot for something! What for? I have sooo many ideas but im just so unsure of everything! Uncertainty has to be beginning of death cause i cant lie i feel empty and like a huge under achiever. My mum was right! Im capable of soo much but i dont do shit! Fear....Dear reader....if i have any at all...please do not be afraid! It can eat you alive and when you get your mind back and you look at it...your afraid of absolutely nothing! Sigh...

I can sing...in my opinion anyway (and a few others...many thanx!) and i havent done anything about it...and im almost 23! I have not one song...i have only done covers...i start t write but i cant finish.

I cant draw... or shud i say i am artistically challenged but i have sooo many hot stuff that come into my head...shoes bags dresses tops...COLOURS! They make me smile, give me goosebumps, get me inspired, i aspire and then...its over...till the next feelin comes along. It ends in my head...so much runs around and i have a reason why each of them cant come into frution immediately! Im always scared that i wont do it well just cause when i think its too marvelous for me to pull off.... or i think it wont be unique enough just because someone has done something like it before.

Even simple things like this blog post for instance...i thought up soo many things to write then got carried away with how people wont read it anyway and it just sems insightful to me and no one else so why expect people to be touched in the slightest. Then i went on twitter than back to work and only got back to it today.

I really really really want to strat and finish something this year. Something unique to just me. I have felt like an under achiever for sooooo long and now my years are passing by and my status remins the same. Living in my head is not living at all. I need to do something where it matters most...for others...make an impact you know....and most of all make sure my mum stops calling me names. Cant believe i have started seeing sense in all these kids that have offed their parents...im just a bit smarter...LoL. However before you say so...i know...we all have our problems....well that is why this is my blog so *tongue out*

What shall i start first i wonder...to my inexistent readers....ok i have 2 i think...which shud i start first 1. music 2. clothes 3. shoes??

Yea i know i have my desk job atm... i hope it gets better than this though...

Ok i think i have finally finished this blog post... little drops of water make a mighty ocean i guess...would i finish the next thing tho...i wonder....