Yea...old crush...thats over...New one in the picture...I think i need to stop calling these guys crushes cuz technically u crush on someone in secret rite? Like the one being crushed upon has no idea or does but hasnt confirmed it or acts entirely oblivious to the fact...rite?? Well if i am rite (which i think i am) then i dont hv crushes much...ok i have 1!!! My twitter crush actually...he probably even knows or has guessed but...whatever (yea rite im cringin at the thot *i roll my eyes at myself)
New feel good song!!! And of course it is playing now- Under G- Sauce Kid The best i know of this guy outside his music career is that he is a bloody joker...nd maybe not to bright (this i deciphered from his tweets)But yea this is a jam...i have alredi imagined dancing to it on a nite out...as usual! Don Jazzy made the beat and i must say the guy was born wid it!!!He is sooo good! That being said...i shud go back to the thought process that pushed me to this blog when i have shit loads of work 2 do! (Y am i complainin like that is normal...i smh at myself)
Yea so there is a new guy in the picture...ok i shall not be presumptious like i have been with the past 3/4 guys...this one is also "not rushing" into a relationship. Ok i have decided not to look down on myself in this situation and say he probably takes commitment serrsli nd does not wnt to desecrate it! (Self deceit is the WORST) But yea...he has said he likes me a lot...isnt rushin into anything but isnt goin anywhere...jst incase there r stuff we find out we dont like about each other...
Well im not expecting him to be alredi jumpin to that but em...that lil...dunno whether to call it a disclaimer/comment worries me ever so slightly...nd i have deceived myself again...it worries me PERIOD! But well in what capacity would i be givin him any headache about meeting any demands...i am just biding my time...or at least tryin 2! What annoys me tho is that i have the tendency to act like someone hu has a tickin biological clock...like wtf!!! Well i guess i just wanna feel legitimately special..its been a while! Guys are stupid...nd so am i...we should both be stoned...but me not so much...THANX! I havent had a proper boyfriend in a while! Does this devalue me in anyway i wonder?? Sigh.... MOVING ON!!!
We connect on a musical level *excellente* ...he is older...i like his size :D ...he is a bit of a critic...or shud i say a realist cuz he says whats good...but he really likes thick women. So em...even though he has explained how every guy wants 1 huge house wiv lots of rooms and loads of cars but is content wiv the nice home he's got...i still give the situation *side eye* since i am not a thickie...hehehe. But yea im dealing. I feel vulnerable tho...like i really dnt wanna b taken advantage of. I dont hv 2 sleep wiv u to feel used...my actions, how i jus wanna help u...if one jus doesnt value that...it cuts fuckin deep...nd if this one cuts deep...HA! I dunno if i still have gas o! Even tho im on the optimistic tip...i dunno...baby steps is key tho! Abi?? He is cute tho still...
I was thinkin a few days back...as much as everyone is talking about living in the real world i have a feeling we base our lifestyles on one of the fast growin addictive things...no i dont mean a blackberry...i mean tv shows! Like think about it...u find out your person identifies with a character in a tv show and BAM!!! Some things just fall into place...like how that persons work/love life turned out on the show is almost expected to apply to u... At this point i also just realised that i may be talkin to myself alone...LoL...i dont get thrown by it sha...i wake up sometimes nd im like...ok i may share quite a few modus operands wiv Meredith nd Izzy (Grey's Anatomy), or Susan (Desperate Housewives) but yea they r written up nd i am responsible 4 writin mines! Sigh...did u notice the type of characters im sayin i could b like....the most times annoyin nd seemingly pathetic ones...LoL Im better off tho... im real!! But yea thats that as per this thought on lives nd tv shows....yes i know...iz random...then again... IS IT YOUR BLOG!!! LoL...O dear!
Im seriously considering not relaxing my hair till June...Did it 1st week in Jan...wanna see wht it wud luk like...hopefully my plan works...i miss my hair men! I have serrsli fucked it up over time!!!
A friend of mine and i had a somewhat huge blow out about a year ago...as in i was really hurt...nd maybe she was as well but in my opinion i was wronged...she may say same too but...making assumptions about me that discredit my character go deep. We apologised nd r kinda talkin now but not as much as b4...I miss her...a lot! One time i thot we had crossed the bridge but i found a msg 2 someone else which clearly indicated that we had not...nd that cut me again...the "sorta talkin" started after that but i cant go back there again...but i miss her! She called me on her birthday this year...the way she wud hv usually called me when we were buddies nd i almost cried...i caught my breath nd everything...but there hasnt been a rpt of that. Maybe i shud call her...i probably wud... *i bruise easily* Where they sell tough skin at?!?!
Funny thing is as soft as i think i am...i have chested a few things..like even in this man situation...ah i suppose curse some...or jus stop talkin to some...but i jus do. I thank God 4 the gift...this is me being positive abt lukn stupid to most when seen talkin to a supposed "wrong doer" LoL...Omdayzzz i need to give myself more credit!!! SERIOUSLY There r people worse off!!! (This is me shoutin at myself) U see i figured this is wht i do...i wanna say the shit stuff i think r wrong wiv me first so b4 u say it...if ur alredi thinkin it...u kinda know i know so it doesnt luk that stupid. But sometimes...when u still say it after me... iz still painful!!! So my bestos says i shud stop sayin crap...it obviously doesnt put me a step ahead...then if u say it to me...i shud say "Ehn go nd chop beanz nd mind ur business" Ok y lie she ddnt say tht...i dnt rmba exactly so i made up my own words...it captures the msg still...nd this post is loooooong! I can like to go home tho!!!
**Kisses Love Peace nd Afro Grease**
Yo Mizz Smith - learned something recently (@church) n i jus thought to share...
ReplyDeletebeing single is not a disease, its not a curse, its not even a situation! it is simply a 'season'! and like all seasons....it'll pass! am not saying u shud not focus on guys...but like u mentioned in the post below (talkin bou praying n all) ... jus take it to God, study the Word, pray...obey his will...and errthing will fall into place (clearly not as easily...but yea, u get me)
got some church notes (what not to do when ur single) - hola if u want me to e-mail 'em...xx
ah i neva saw this omowale...feel FREE to email anything to me!!!
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