The obvious....

"I'm already used to the way things are. Before you came i was thinking about how much time i had wasted in the same place, while my friends had moved on, and either went bankrupt or did better than they had before. It made me very depressed. Now i can see that it hasn't been too bad. The shop is exactly the size i always wanted it to be. I don't want to change anything because i don't know how to deal with change. I'm used to the way i am."
This i read in a fictional book and many books have described the way i feel about something or some sort of personality i have but this is just too apt about what has been most important to me of recent now that i am out in the world...i know this applies to a lot of people but it makes a lot of stuff clear to me...and what it is i need to do....Wow i knew i was scared but I'm also content in my unhappiness! Not content in every sense of the word but i am used to it...and that would not get me anywhere.
My friend gave me this book...The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho...wow!First of all God would shall bless her mightily! She knew i needed it. From the beginning i knew i would discover something about me...or find something i have always known in black and white which is exactly what happened!
I don't want to say all what the book is about but i strongly suggest that if u have no idea of why u r where u r but u dream nd in ur dreams alone is where u find ur happiness then you need to read this. No jokes! God is at its centre as well...its not religious but it talks about purpose and i thank God for the mind he has given me cuz contrary to what i usually think (which is that i a not very bright) i have been able to analyse this book very well. Lets just say the introduction helps but i have opened my eyes tho.
i have talent and i have dreams in which these talents are realised and brought about to bless loads of people nd where i am known for it/the but im yet to realise any of this. I am the queen of excuses...my excuses seem so important as well or valid as the case may be which is ever so often! But im getting a stirring now. I think God has put me in an atmosphere all of a sudden where im beginning to believe...be less afraid...im getting happier...i am alone thi i know...i feel lonely everyday and its unfortunate that most times its where i should feel the most love but i have to overcome that. And i will...i just have to never forget....and always always want my dreams to come true...I am grateful!