Lol...ok so i know i just started blogging like proper and my entries have been me moaning and writing sad rubbish (yes im irritated as well) but by Gods grace this too will pass!!! But meeeen....its not today o!
Got my first pay cheque today...BULLSHIT!!! Im so disappointed in it and in the fact that it immediately affected my level of job satisfaction...i swear i was happy about my job before o! Maybe its because i imagined a better pay cheque alongside all the learning i was hoping to accomplish....o well!
Still havent cried yet....was his birthday yesterday...to think i had plans...
My friend explained to me that im not used to having guys like me really deeply and thats why im running away from this new guy and it makes sense...i think...need to remove this kind of issue from the centre of my being and concentrate on more concrete things because im really starting to tick me off. Nothing prouctive is happening from my end........ok that is not true! Lord i am grateful and im sorry for that horrible statement i just made but its just that i know you made me for something great you know. i know im still young but a lot of years have gone by and according to mum i have not been as forthcoming with huge results as she knows i can be. Maybe im just too lazy and easily discouraged....what am i saying maybe...I AM!
On the bright side my co worker today gave me this huge idea...dunno how im gonna do it but it makes a lot of sense to me...im going to travel out of the country for a few months for some sort of work experience or just experience really! That has got my spirits up for this christmas....even though i feel like im coming down with something...*sobbery*
Im tired....i wanna go home! Im unhappy and i dont want to be....how on earth have i made a choice to be this way?? Please answer me!
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