You want love...pine for it...hate when its unrequited or when you believe you have "given" and you have been denied your rightful return. You hurt for ages...lick your wounds till they are sore and look like they can never heal (well they can...we just like feeling sorry for ourselves...Lord knows why)... and then its handed to you...and you cant do shit with it...you dont believe its real or you are just scared!
You enjoy it in the beginning and then its "all in your face" then you are not sure if you want it just this minute...or you would have appreciated it more from someone else...all types of excuses....What the f*** do you want????
Ok for me now...its distance...txt language...the way he speaks sometimes...these things are horribly important to me even though they look like im being petty...but they affect my attraction to the opposite sex...but he "loves" me....soooo much according to him. I feel bad because i see how i look to a guy thats feeling the way im feeling now...
Then again i cant be feeling bad about every choice i make or what i like and dislike...im going to have to live with it right?
Distance--im justified...he is far away...someone started liking me after seeing my twice....a few bbm's then it became regular...how does it wax sooo strong after this and then a few visits after a month of constant communication (none face to face mind you) and then he is in love...the thought gives me butterflies...but i dont know if it does more than that...the fact that he is far away makes it worse...
Today he says "i feel you getting distant...." How true is that? Soooo true! But ofcourse i made up a few excuses...assuring him it would be better soon...i do hope it gets better...or maybe im not ready...new outlook on life maybe...understanding now what it means when i guy says im not ready for a relationship (i really just want to f*** around for a bit). Sigh...always try shoes on before you diss them...lol.
I am in no rush...and i should take as much time as i want...but i feel bad still...o what to do!
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