Raw

If only you took the time to hear my heart speak for the words that come out of my mouth are meaningless...
They carry meaning in that I speak them but they mean nothing to me...I don't mean them.
I open my mouth but speak what I think are your thoughts...or what mine would be if were you and u were me...but I forget that's not the case and that's for a reason...
Its so that I do what I am meant to do when I am meant to do them...say how I feel and not let my wayward emotions quench them...my feelings...
Upside down they are at the moment...right way up would be happy....it is obvious I am not. Lord you say there is a time for everything under the sun...have I spent so much of it crying that I hv missed the que to laugh and have fun? This I refuse to believe but could it be that the emotion...feelings I have for One who does not have them 4 me could have run me down...so badly?
Na today?!?! Ahah!
Let's even be straight with me...these feelings...caused by what...idle banter...meaningless rants, innuendo's ...causing the wrong juices to flow, hyping up my hormones, intensifying everything else that on a good day mite hv been easier to deal with...or not...point is...a human being should NOT have this effect on me...
I wanna move on...there's nothing right about this thing...stagnation to my spirit...my soul...my very being...is just damaging