Yes ladies and gentlemen I now possess one of the qualities of a rap artist....somn that has increased my street cred...I am now a certified gangsta ladies and gentlemen. FOR YESTERDAY IN BROAD DAYLIGHT I WAS SHOT AT BY THE POLICE!
*Insert rap beat or whichever tickles ur fancy here* yo... yo... yo... *50 cents voice* I'm the realest nigga, i been shot at and I'm still standing nigga, stepped on the gas like Evelyn Salt my nigga, was weavin trucks across the bridge my nigga, me and my plane( I call my car a plane) still rollin deep my nigga...thank God I aint got a cap in my ass ...my nigga .........em yea...tht concludes Track 1. Record deal? Yes? No? Figured....
Well b4 I narrate this here story to u...I would like to thank the almighty God for sparing my life cuz a number of things cud have hpnd to me. I cud have been hit, I cud have swerved and hit a car or fallen into the murky waters below the bridge (eeewwwww) I could have somersaulted with the car, I cud hv stopped nd been beaten.... Chai na wa! God I thank you! To think at this time yday I was wailing like a mad person...and now I'm making jokes...it can only be God!
I woke up that morning with my father on my neck harassing me about plans I have made for my life. Plans I hv told him of before...plans that are not long term. Plans I am still trying to make...
Then he harasses me about why I keep to myself...man needs to realise not everything should be shared....smh. I however told him he ddnt wnt to hear my thots...he said I shud go ahead...lo and behold he didn't wnt to hear them....I am at my wits end....frustrated beyond BEYOND!!! Comfort came from the strangest place....my mother! My mother doesn't comfort me when I cry....she still had her own to say o but....that is another blog post 4 another day.
So I set out of the house...a tad bit upset...as I hv been 4 the past few days...and went to my lil arena of solace...me and God (I pray) in my car on the road. Thank goodness it was free...naturally I gassed up (Xabi likes her speed) I sha found myself behind this truck full of police men. 1 of them was lookin agitated so I moved out from behind them to other side of the very wide bridge. That's hw the policeman (who I'm convinced was high as a flippin kite) now shot at me. I thank God for the reflexes he has given me. On the road they hv not failed me. I just stepped on the gas....as this truck was trying to corner me. Through my mind I had a flashback of a video of how some uniformed men beat and stripped a woman on the road a while back. NO BE ME NO BE TODAY!! Sped past them and moved to the other side of the road...lo and behold...a bus and ANOTHER truck full of policemen! Those 1z now saw me as a small rat they would use to play and wanted to corner me on the other side of the bridge!!! I said NEVER! My portion is NOT to bash this car AGAIN! Stepped on the gas again! Passed them...they put on their sirens and increased speed.
*Commercial Break*
I would like to thank the manufacturers at Toyota...especially those that worked on Xabi's Toyota Avalon!!!
Yall put in a kick ass gas pedal! *applause* God bless u Chinese lot u hardworkers u! Amen*Break Over*
That is how I said I SHANT end up in some sort of cell and be treated like some fugitive! I picked my race and ran it! Suspected traffic would be ahead so I took a detour...drove in and stopped...then it clicked....Oh Lord I cried!!! Why me?! Why today?! Is it not enough?! I'm just tired!!! I called my dad panting and crying...tried to tell him wht hpnd nd told him where I was.... My church was close so he said to drive there and wait... He was on his way....
Shook up is an understatement! Kai!!!
If they had not missed....let's just thank God that they missed is the story... God bless those tht were checking on me and those that prayed....it was a crazy day....
That my friends is the story of Nigeria's own Evelyn Salt.... I hate the Po-Po!!! Still like gunz! I can now kick being in an action scene off my bucket list!!!
Poliz eez NOT MY FREEEEN!!! :\
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow! *shocked face* i'm just sitting here not knowing what to think maaayn! ahhh who says there's no God or that He forsakes or that He's not good??? proof right here maaaayn......WE WILL SHABACH U JEHOVAH!!!
ReplyDeletemeanwhile....Tolizzle...we need to discuss these parental communication tingz.....not good for the mind maayn! glad u find solace in speakin to God tho.....the best thing that's helped me all yr! :)
thank God its not obituary times yet maaayn!
Psalm 117 baby!!! xoxo
Thank God for your life mehn. Not many live to laugh over it. Tc hun.xxx
ReplyDeleteWow!!!! Nigerian police are always so trigger happy. They need to make them more accountable for their actions. On the other hand..you're so funny, love this post.
ReplyDelete